I am not a good person.
Maybe it's a bit of a mean statement to say about oneself, but it's a statement that I agree with.
My exact agreement depends on the day, what I've done...
I got in another argument in a community I'm pretty involved in. I have a bit of a reputation for being an abrasive, blunt, bitch; one person saw I was around and said:
Oh, it's you. Yeah, no. Take care y'all.
Sometimes the anger to protect friends from perceived wrongs takes over me. Are they wrong? Are they right? Am I justified? I don't pretend to know the answers to these questions. I don't even remember my life past a few years ago, having the self-introspection to know the answers is probably a few decades off; if my brain ever allows it to occur.
To those whom I've wronged, misportrayed, yelled at with so much vitriol that my eyes turned red and my ears started blowing steam -- I am sorry. To those whom I've tried to protect and only made their issues worse -- I am sorry.
I want to do better, be more controlled. I'm not sure I can, I'm not sure I will ever be able to. But the thought counts, right? ;-;